Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Electric Fags.

Today was the day when everything changed.
Forget about what has happened up till now because it don't matter any more.
Today we are officially in the future.

Look at this.

Yeah it's a bad picture but if you can still read the bit of writing at the top. It says "ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES"
Here's the science.

Look at all the stuff that comes with them. inc. Spare filters/cartridges, USB charger and external hard drive plus a bulldog clip and the actually Lecky Fag itself.
Here's a video of them actually working. Check the green light on the tips.

That which looks like smoke is in fact Nicotine Rich condensed air vapor. 
It's all down to the tiny atomiser inside the device.
But the basic long and short of it all is that you can smoke them anywhere yu like and nobody can say shit to yu.
See yu next week when they finish the food replicators and digital coffee eh.

More Free Stuff

Now you know those people who give you free stuff in the street?
You get them alot in central LDN hanging about outside like Farringdon Tube Station at sort of 9 in the morning handing out plaggy bags with promotional items in them.
There was one day last summer when I got like a full packed lunch 2 bottles of water and a battery powered mini-Fan with Lipton ice-tea branding on the side, just by walking out of the station.

Well anyway I was walking in to my workshop t'other morning and I spotted some of them People.
As you can see from the signage on't' bag they were from Heart FM. In my mind a big enough company to be putting out a decent bag.

this was all i got

A photo of there Breakfast DJ's and an Alpan Bar.

TBH I expected a bit more

Thursday, 7 May 2009

People don't know about Manzon Road.

Yu know I like stories as much as the next man,
and I'll just remind yu of a couple of relevant ones before I start on mine.

1. WAR OF THE WORLDS The Orson Welles version of the HG Wells classic.
Yu know where he staged it as a news broad cast and caused mass hysteria to all the people who tuned in not realising it was fiction. People who suspend their disbelief to the point of accepting as completely true, something that common sense should tell us is probably false.

2. THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF Classic don't bullshit or folk won't believe yu moral narrative. 
We all know it it's time old, probably Bible or something, (ain't read it but I hear they based part of Lion/witch/wardrobe on it and that was pretty shit and far fetched if yu ask me.)

Anyway baring these two stories in mind I'll start my own. 
I was thinking about making some sort of advert for my blog yeah 
and I figured I didn't want it to look like an advert for my blog.
wanted to try and be a bit clever.
 Now I was at a rave the other night and a friend of mine was talking about having been given some "fake drugs" and another friend said "Oh, that sounds like Fake Blood," and that's when it hit me. 
I could advertise my blog with a flyer that looked a bit like it was for a rave, I figured if I just make up a load of random band names that sound a bit funny call it after my computers blue tooth name and put no actual information on it other than the blog address. 
I thought everyone would realise that's what it was.

Oh how I chuckled to myself at the thought of posting it on peoples pages for them to see and laugh along.

Oh ho ho how I gafored at the very idea of starting a facebook event page devoted to bizarrely named bands and promoting my blog.

So next day after I've done these things it seems like maybe I was a bit too subtle. Too subtle even for some really close friends who actually thought I was promoting a night. 

Me. Promoting anything other than my own self indulgent rantings? 

Me organising anything other than what I'm supposed to be doing in the next 2 days?
Me, even actually going to a night? (Although to be fair I have been out a little bit lately, no longer no-show-berko eh).

The thing with the facebook event is that you have to put an address and I thought long and hard about trying to think of a funny address and the best I could do was Manzon Road, (Mans On Road, yu know like, "this one's for the mans on road" yeah/no?)
Well it seems like only I find that funny everyone else things it's really confusing and google maps don't know what to fucking make of it.

Some people do know it's not really real and they've played along like it is so it makes it even more confusing for me, but this does offer me the emperors new clothes get out clause, (should of said 3 stories but I'm not completely sure it's relevant). 

See if you did think That this was a real night that's cool, (and I'm sorry to disappoint you we were all looking forward to Leaky Seems and the Lose Packed Ham but sorry to say no such band exists.)
If you posted confused messages on either Myspace or facebook then that's cool too. Cos I reckon even if you didn't know, then you can just say you did know but you were playing along to make my lie more believable, just like some other people were.
You were in on it from the start, like the old man in the crowd who can do handstands after the salesman's feed him the snake oil.

Anyway main trouble now is that if ever actually want to promote a night no one will believe me and I'm sure my name will add an element of doubt to an flyer it is daubed across from now on, (like it don't do that already).

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Big look

Big Look this one.
Message me for guest list eh.

Monday, 4 May 2009

Struggeling to Focuss.

I've bin to a couple of Raves this weekend and tried taking a few photo's on my phone to document it all. Trouble is generally either the photo ends up being out of focus or I reacted too slow and missed whatever it was I was trying to get a picture of......   Still I figured what't'fuck-it. I'll put um up anyways.  
So here yu go.

This Picture was taken through the rear view mirror of my car in central London. 
I can only assume there was something interesting behind me.

This picture is also from the car in central London. 
This time I was trying to document the protests to free Sri Lanka.

This Picture is in the smoking room at Nuke Em All on Hackney Road.

This Picture is in that same room. 
I was trying to get a picture of the girl dressed as a unicorn.

These 3 Pictures were both failed attempts to get a picture of this guy.

In the end I just asked him eh.

This Picture was supposed to be of this Range rover that had loads of loud speakers coming out of it's roof I tried to take a picture of it through my sunroof as I was driving up the M1 but only managed to get a picture of my roof.

This Picture is outside of Rock City for Detonate in Nottingham.

This Picture is inside Stealth.

In This Picture I was trying to get a shot of the crowd in the upstairs room at stealth but failed to really give the impression of how busy it was.

This Picture is back outside RockCity. I was trying to get a picture of the kid in the pink jeans. He had a day glow tool-belt filled with rave paraphernalia.


In these 3 Pictures I was trying to document this guy's double rat-tail. He refused to acknowledge me when I asked him to pose for it.

This Picture is the mainroom Rock City. So's the video.

This is a Picture of A-Track. Apparently I look like him.

This is a Picture of my Trainers after 2 days of being in Raves. 
Dirty Bastards.

Saturday, 2 May 2009

food to go

see I spend a fair bit of time driving to or from things,
and recently it's seemed like
this time on the road has also become the only time I eat anything.
Due to this I've been consuming a disproportionate quantity of pre-packed sandwiches, and I'm gunna break you off a little observation.
Yu know bacon yeah!?
The thinly sliced slabs of grilled/fried swine-flesh that constitutes the B in the the BLT yeah.....Course yu fucking know bacon.
anyway, I reckon it's gotta be one of the most easily tessellated sandwich meats going. 2 pieces of well placed bacon on a slice of mothers pride looks like a deliciously square porky ying-yang, just the aesthetic I'm looking for in a driving snack/meal.

Well taking that as a standard, I find it abso-fucking-lootly amazing that every single fucking BLT I buy from anywhere has one piece of bacon just hanging loose out the side of it. I'm starting to think they're doing it on purpose. like that's how they teach them to do it in the strange corner of Hull where they make all these fucking sandwiches. Mind blowing.

Also other thing that's been fucking me up is carbonated water.
I keep going for normal water but end up coming away with fizzy. yeah, I know, my fault, need to read labels better. but anyway, why does anyone want Fizzy Water?
unless you're either mixing it with booze or you've got a load of soda-stream syrup left over from the mid eighties then what the fuck would you want with that shit?