Monday, 15 December 2008

ich bin ein ausländer

So while I was in Germany I kept a little diary. Here it is.

What's the German words for day One?

Right after like a 6 hour journey I arrived at Munich airport and met Ko, (my German guide).
Ko lead me through a searies of trains (none of which were paid for), and finally ended up ren dez vousing with 5 other poets on a duble-decker "sub-urban train." I'd also like to take this opertunity to point out the inhearent cultural differences. No one has their feet on a seat, there's a little geeza offering a waiter survice for beer and I watched my new German friends holding onto their litter until they found a bin. We rode the train for about an hour and they all talked in German.
Eventually we arrived in Regensberg.
First thing upon arriving at the venue we were given free food and drinks. Being in Germany I went for the Currywurst met pomme.
Sausage and chips with curry ketchup.
Then it was into the gig. I was shown the backroom where I had permision to smoke and then after more free beer was hurded into the room of the Slam.

Oh My Days.
Litterally like 400 people.
Paying money to watch poetry.

I was a bit nervous upon taking to the stage as I was the only person in the room who couldn't speak German and so had not understood anything that had happened to that point.
I explained it was my first time infront of a crowd whom didn't have English as a first language and taught them 2 new English words,Clout and Giz.
In the end it seems like they were fucking well into it. so that's alright eh.

Apparently I'm staying in the venue tonight. they've got a perpouse made room for the acts to sleep in.
All in all my first day in Germany, and what is esentially my first time propally abroard, (if you don't count the numerouse Amsterdam trips), has been more than successful.
I like Germans
They ain't nothinbg like what I've been conditioned to think they'd be like

Tag Zwei (german for day Two)

Yeah work up today in a room with 4 German guys all of us sleeping in our own pair of bunk beds.
Not what I'm used to to be honest.
Are bunkbeds called pairs or sets?
I had a quick duschen (shower) then we went and got the train back to München (Munich).
I tell you what Germans seem to be really good at judging distance all ways saying things like "Yeah it's about 160 kilometers" or "Its only 90 meters"
See I'm a terible judge of distance so I don't know if there right.

Anyway when we got back we went to essen (eat) some traditional essen (food, yeah same word, crazy init).
I ordered a thing that turned out to be like a pile of beef and a pile of potatoes. Mate. Half way through I stopped and looked at my plait and fucking hell it was still massive.
While I was there I decided to drink a drink. (essen's not sounding so crazy now eh).
Then I checked out Lederhosen (you know what that is and if not then google it)
Thing is it costs like 550 Euroes so I didn't get none.
Then Rayl my new German mate had organised entertainment for me for the afternoon/evening.
Check his myspace by hitting his name he's a ledgend init.

I wanted to go see my friend Halil today but he lives about 160 kilometers away and I'm short on Euros foe now. Hopefully I'll see him tomorrow.

Thats over half way through my Germany trip now but they tell me tomorrow night's gunna be the one so I'm looking forward to it.

Was ist der Englisch für tag drei?

This morning Rayl woke me up around 1 o'clock with a cup of tea and some German breakfast sausage and swiss cream-cheese on toast.
Man that shit was tastey. seriously if I think about it I can still taste it.
We chilled for a bit he played me music by Audio 88 and Misanthrope I played him Kate Tempest and Sound of Rum. (click names for myspaces).

About 6 o'clock we went to prepare for the Munich slam.

Now anyone familer with slam poetry will probably have some idea of the usual rules. The rules here were a little different and to be honest the whole thing benifitted from the change in convention.
Here instead of 3 minutes each and a score card system, each poet has 10 minutes and after 5 have performed the audience vote via applores/general noise making.The winner goes on to face the winner of the next round in the final where each poet does 1 poem.
What this means is that essential every poet in the slam is a feature and the standard is high.
I'd like to point out that I was in the slam, but I didn't win my group. I blame it on the fact that I was the only person performing in English but to honest didn't feel the disapointment I usually assosiate with getting knocked out of slams in the UK.

I think I might try and put a little slam together in the UK following Rayl's format.

Some other key differences between our two countries that became apparent today.
This difference is in how we imbibe our controlled substances.
Yep smoking and drinking.

In Germany you have to drink beer all day with everything you do.
Anyone who's been out on't'lash with me'll be able to confirm that I'm not really much of a drinker so there were times when I was struggeling to say the least.

Smoking indoors has been banned in Germany for about a year but the rules are very vaige. for example we were allowed to smoke in the club before people came in and then again when most had left. You just can't smoke when it's busy.
Probably for the best 'cos at it's peek there were around 600 people in there and very poor ventilation. One girl in the audience actually collapsed and had to be carried to the door for air.
Heinner told me that this happens everytime sometimes 3 or 4 in one night.
After the slam me and Rayl did some hard drinking late into the night and talked about not understanding women, (turns out that's the same in any language. )

I have to go back to England now, I'm actually sat in the airport as I write this waiting to board my flight.
As far as my first international tour goes I feel like it was a great success, I've seen a beautiful country and made some amazing new friends. It's really opened a door for me.

So don't worry Deutschland Berko will be back, sooner rather than later.
Oh I also got asked yesterday if I'd perform at the newly formed Madrid Slam in April or May, so who knows maybe this is the start of EuroBerko tour de internationale. (Probably have to learn another language eh, my English is often missunderstood in England so Europ might get a little tricky).

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