Thursday, 3 September 2009

blog 101

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to blog 101.

yes imagine, 101 blogs, now that's dedicated. 1st thing it means is that I actually managed to scratch enough "spare-time" out of the literal racing rat fight that is my day to day existence in order to do that, but not only that, see it also means that in some minute little tiny way, I've demonstrated that perhaps, and only perhaps, I might actually be able to commit to something.
Provided that,
a, the something I'm committed to is basically just me ranting about my own sense of self importance.
And b, that by committed we mean I'll do it every now and again.
Anyway I digress.
So this is blog 101 and I figured I'd do it in the style of Room 101

Fans of Reading will know
Room 101 is a room in the ministry of Love in Orson Wells 1984 and is used by The Party to torture folk.

"You asked me once, what was in Room 101. I told you that you knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world."

Fans of T.V will know
Room 101 is a TV show where Paul Merton gets "Celebrities" to talk about things they don't like before putting a physical representation of that thing into the fictional room.

"There you go then Keith, just pull the lever and that's council tax going to join the Welsh and inappropriate erections in room 101, so have you had fun?"

Anyway it's basically a list of things don't like,
so here yu go. blog 101.

First one I tell yu what i hate, for a little wile not long ago all the weed I was buying seemed to have been treated with some kind of plasticy sylicone spray that meant it didn't burn properly.

ah it drove me fucking mental.
The rumor I'd heard was that apparently
"a whole load of vietnamese have moved in and taken over from the old Persian growers and aparently they're spraying the weed with this shit so as it didn't lose weight as it's drying. Now cos none of these fuckers smoke them selves, it meant that they never realised it didn't burn,"

that's genuinly a story told to me by a guy who at the time was selling me this same treated non-burning weed.
Here's the thing see firstly I'm not sure if the people I get my shit from are or are not living there lives in season 4 of the wire, and I don't know about vietnamese grow houses and sylicone sprays or whatever but what I do know is that this fella right here who's selling me the weed, he knows it's no good, he knew that when he bought it, and he confirmed it when he skinned it up and the shit didn't burn, yeah he knows it's no good but that motherfucker's still trying to sell that shit to me.

So I'm putting him and that plastic-tang, hard budded, non-burning, chemical-spray weed that he's trying to shot to me in room 101.

Right next one, People who turn an act of kindness into something degrading.

simple really,
yu ever done this,

as you walk towards the door of a public building you see someone coming from the other side and as you open the door you step to one side and guesture them through,

now physically this is only a small thing you are doing for this person but in terms of social etiquet you have performed a great polite and noble deed and at the very least they could do in fact all they could do in return would be to be courtious enough to just say thankyou.

Instead they look at you with some kind of contempt like you work for them and they can't sack you because you're there wife's nephew and you don't give a shit about there crappy little box making business and you got pissed and told them all to fuck off so they fucking hate you.
yu know what I mean. I hate them people.

Also people who say Pacifically when they mean specifically, learn the fucking language you lazy fuck-twats.

right Male pornstars who can't fucking give it and female pornstars who don't fucking take it/bring it.

Tell yu what ain't nothing worse than lackluster porn. It's like can I really be bothered to wank to this shit? Please God let me maintain this erection while I find something worth evacuating it to.

Although saying that, I seen one the other day with this ginger fella who had vitiligo at the base of his awkwardly bent penis and I tell yu what it made his cock look like a shaven guinea-pig,
so that was a bit distracting.

Other peoples opinions.
FUCK OFF Yeah. stuck up twats thinking yu know it all.

There yu go that'll do for now. more to come I'm sure.

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