Bumping my Bumper

So I'm sat at the lights and as red becomes green I start to pull off.

but literally just before the biting point bit it's point I hear the slam and feel the shudder.

"what the fuck was that? did I just crash into someone?"

Turns out No, someone crashed into me.

introducing this little fella.

As you no doubt can see this didn't look like the first time he'd had a head on collision recently.

I particularly like the fact that the front half of his car is held together by sello-tape, hope and the dents of previous crashes.

So I'm like, "Mate! yu just fucking crashed into meh"

He's like, (Nodding) "Yes crashed"

I'm like "didn't you see me?"

He's like "The light was green."

I'm like, "Mate! was my car in the road?"

He's like, "yes"

I'm like, "So what are you doing?"

He shrugged.

I'm like "Have you got insurace mate, gimmy yu details etc."

he fumbled a partial explaination about not having it here or someone else having it somewhere else.

I said about the front of his car looking like he does this all the time. 

He's like, (nodding)"Yes all the time."

I'm like, "show me some I.D mate I'm reporting this to the police,"

he showed me this.

Now you might want to take a minute to look at both pictures.

Yeah you're right, it's not the same guy.

I'm like, "I need something with an address fella, yu got ownt else?"

He shruggs.

I'm like, "Mate! if I call the police you could lose you licence."

he's like, "I won't, I have not got a licence."

I'm like, "you've not got a licence,"

He's like, (nodding and smiling) "No, no licence."

I'm like, "look mate gimmy fifty quid and fuck off yeah."

After standing in the road for about another 5 minutes of haggling 

we settled on £30.

He payed up and we both fucked off.