Electric stairs.

I tell yu what there's nothing makes me wanna

punch a stranger in the back of the head

more than bad escalator etiquette.
check it yeah, it's bad enough in London; yu know them dick'eds who stand on the left on tube station escalators?

Proper twats

Well if you know that situation then you might be able to relate.

Imagine the exact same thing

, with out the "stand on the right" rule and

set in Leicester TK Maxx.

Makes me wanna start

shitting in a plaggy bag

before I go out in the morning so I can carry it with me to smear across the collective back of the three obese teenage rude-gels who spend their whole day needlessly blocking my way.

Idiots.